Think you’ve got a bad job? Join the club. Nearly everybody, at one time or another, decides they must have the world’s worst job. Heck, I have those thoughts from time to time ... and I don’t even have a real job!

We all have those days. You know the kind I’m talking about. Those days when you just know they gave your boss his job because he was too dumb to do anything else. We’re talking about days that you find small comfort in knowing you have job security because they’d never find anyone else who would put up with it all. “There just has to be a better way of making a living,” you think, “I can’t imagine a worse job than mine.”

Well, guess what? I’ve found a few that sure sound worse than any job I ever had. Of all the unexpected places to pop up, I heard about them on the television. Even more surprising, it wasn’t on some dumb soap opera show or Jerry Springer. Let me set the record straight here, I don’t watch soap operas or Jerry Springer but, like a visit to the proctologist, you don’t have to visit to know what goes on. Instead, I found out about these awful sounding jobs on T.V. commercials!

The first commercial was advertising eggs, of all things. The happy voice-over proclaimed these particular eggs had been “judged the best egg in America.” Rather than be impressed by the “hen fruit from Heaven,” instead I thought about the poor guy who had to judge the contest. Now, that would be a sorry job. I could just see him standing there in the show ring as each entry was rolled into the arena by an attentive egg showman (show person?). Round and round the arena they would roll their entry displaying one side, then the other (there's more than one side to an egg?) as the perplexed judge tried to figure out which one was best. Did he pluck a few from the show ring floor and take them over to a hot plate and fry ‘em up? After eating about 12 contestants, none tasted too good, I’ll bet. When he finally had chosen a winner, I assume he had eaten it. Where would he hang the blue ribbon? On a pile of broken egg shells? Most serious of all, what about the disgruntled losers? How would you like to be standing in the middle of a show ring, dressed in your finest egg judging duds, surrounded by several dozen contestants you don’t know, each with an egg in their hand. Nope, this is not a good job.

My favorite reminder of a world class bad job featured a happy voice gleefully telling me to “forget everything you ever knew about cleaning a toilet bowl!” Well, folks, all I can say about that one is ... I’m a guy. I don’t have anything to forget and I sure as heck don’t want to learn anything, either, even if the T.V. announcer was practically beside herself with enthusiasm. Unless the new method involved explosives or something you can do with a tractor, that is not a job I want to learn anything about.

Now that I think about it, maybe my job isn’t too bad after all. How about yours?