The Haxtun-Fleming Herald - What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope

Sooner or later everybody gets one. A little card arrives in the mail informing you your pickup or car is the subject of a manufacturer’s recall. I used to be very concerned when they arrived. Not anymore.

The note usually informs me a trifecta switcharola located in the lower trimester of my Paulaabdool may malfunction causing the entire vehicle to burst into flames while parked in my barn. This, of course, would burn down the entire barn including all my trophy saddles and expensive tack stored there. The previous sentence was intended to be read by my insurance adjuster in case this really did happen. The truth is, I don’t have any trophy saddles and I’ve probably got about $135 invested in everything else. The point is Ford, Dodge or GM don’t want this to happen so I’d better call quickly to schedule an appointment to get my trifecta thing replaced before disaster strikes.

On my drive to the dealer’s lot, I think to myself, “You know, this is a pretty good deal. I’m going to have a new trimester thing on this old heap, which should make it look and run like new again.

Upon arriving, I’m told the “overhaul” should take about 10 minutes. I’m a little surprised such a massive change-out can be accomplished so quickly, but hey, these guys are Pros. I barely get set down in the waiting room to dream of the new car smell the old dually will have with a new switcharola thing when a very concerned service manager walks in and hands me a tiny piece of plastic. “Here’s your defective part Mr. Hodgson, he advises.” It is so small if they burnt it on my front seat it wouldn’t make any smell or a scorched spot. Then he goes on. “While we had her up on the rack we noticed your transmission was about to fall out and the rear left duals probably wouldn’t make it home safely. They’ve had a lot of trouble with these things but we’d be glad to get someone on fixing them for you.”

“Is this under recall, too?” I ask.

“Oh, no,” he replies. “This usually runs about $950 to fix. By the way, that horse you sold us for our daughter sure turned out nice. Since we’re so pleased with him I’ll do the repairs for $800.00,” he beamed.

“Think I’ll pass for now, “I mumbled as I put my old, dangerous Paulabdool thing in my pocket and walked out. Seems rather odd that the ten cent parts get recalled but the $950 parts don’t. It gave me an idea as I drove home. I rushed to my desk and wrote this letter:

Dear Mr. Service Manager,

The horse I recently sold you has been recalled due to a serious safety problem. The third nail on the inside of his left rear shoe could come loose, resulting in a horrible accident. If you would kindly bring him back, I will pay to have the nail replaced and while he’s here, I’ll see if I can fix that little bucking problem you called me about. There, of course, will be a slight charge for that.

P.S. My duals did fall off on the way home. Got the neighbor kid to put ‘em back on for $50.