I hardly ever watch baseball on TV but like millions of people around the world I plan to watch the World Series whenever it rolls around.

I hardly know enough about the games to comment on them. They aren’t what entertains me most of the time. I am fascinated by the endless barrage of statistics shown on the screen during the game. “Most home runs hit with a man on third, number of times a player struck out on a Tuesday road game, etc., etc.” The numbers on the screen always seemed appropriate and important at the time, but I marveled at who remembers and compiles this stuff.

It must be tough on the players to have their lives examined and documented. They have no secrets, plus everything is recorded for all time. “Most times striking out after having a fight with his wife/girlfriend” probably will flash up on the screen one of these days.

I wonder what it would be like if our lives were also documented so precisely? What if once a year some government agency printed a book of statistics on our performance in our lives and business.

Here are a few categories in which records might be compiled. My personal stats follow:

1). Most cows lost on the forest permit during one summer of grazing. All of them. I didn’t find the downed tree across the fence.

2). “Errors” in judgement during a visit with your banker. Seven. Would rather not go into details.

3). Percentage of times we “hit” an “up” market with the calves. One.

4). Percentage of times we “struck out” and found the season low to sell on. 36.

5). Number of times getting a tractor stuck after having a fight with your wife. 14. Details have been sealed.

6). Number of times a fight started with your wife because a tractor got stuck. 23. See explanation #5.

7). Percentage of cows that went through the gate on the first attempt to gather them. (This is probably a lifetime average.) Below 30 percent.

8). Number of times your wife said, “I told you it wouldn’t work,” after something didn’t work. 193.

9). Number of times she was around to see something work after she’d said, “I told you it wouldn’t work.” One.

10). Percentage of times the husband remembers to thank the wife for her help/advice. Under two percent.

11). Number of times the last little twist on the bolt made the head snap off. 346.

12). Percentage of times that the hired man said, “Everything will be OK, don’t worry,” when you should have. 45 percent.

13). Percentage of correct guesses concerning rain during haying season. 5 percent.

14) Number of times you told your spouse, “Just stand in that gateway and the cows will stop” and they didn’t. One. That’s all it took.

As you can see, there are a number of areas common to all of us that our successes or failures could be measured on. I’m sure this book full of stats would be eagerly awaited by most to see how they measure up compared to the rest of the world. Me? Well, let’s just say in some categories, I’m eligible for the world series and in other areas, I’m strictly sand lot.