The Haxtun-Fleming Herald - What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope

For years I have heard people say “there is no such thing as a dumb question.” As with most sage comments as this, someone had to be the first to say it. A little time spent on good old “Google” in search of the famous philosopher yielded a surprise. No one seems to know the answer. A few guesses include Einstein, Carl Sagan, Socrates and Ann Landers. I have a theory why no one has stepped up to claim credit for the line. There are, in fact, hundreds if not thousands of dumb questions floating around out there. Follow me around for one day and you will hear quite a few from me alone.

I stopped at the lumber yard yesterday for a few 2x6s to fix some broken corral fence. As the young man was loading my pickup, I noticed the boards were very crooked. “Do I get a discount for taking these poor boards?” I asked. Looking at me like I was a creature from outer space he replied, “Of course not, they all look like this.” I will never ask that question again. From that point on, I decided to begin pointing out dumb questions in an effort to rid the world of them.

My next stop was at the grocery store to pick up a few items for Sue. At the checkout counter a disinterested young lady asked, “Do you want your milk in a bag?”

“No, it just leaks out before I get home, leave it in the plastic jug,” was my polite response. She seemed to chew her gum a bit loader as she finished checking me out.

Next was a stop at the dentist. After I was parked in the reclining chair by a helper, Doc bounced in to ask, “And how are we today?”

“Well, I have been having a little trouble with diarrhea, but I have no idea how you are,” I answered.

My trip ended at the parts store for a part I had ordered last week. It wasn’t in. The smiling clerk assured me it would be in day after tomorrow.

“Can I plan on that?” I asked. He just looked at me with a dull stare. I could read in his eyes what he was thinking.

“I get so tired of hearing those dumb questions.”

As my brother-in-law is fond of saying, “Do you see what I’m saying?”

“Of course I can’t see it because … Oh, well, never mind.”