The Haxtun-Fleming Herald - What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope

Dear Federal Reserve Folks,

I am writing on a suggestion I received from a guy I met at the sale barn yesterday. He was nice to visit with and seemed to know a lot about what I am going to ask you. The gentleman did ask me not to mention his name or exactly where I had seen him because of a little misunderstanding between the two of you. It sounded as if he had ran a big bank or something before moving to our little town.

The subject of my letter is not that person, anyway. I’m actually writing about my friend George. I always knew he was a little shiftless but always interesting to talk to. A couple of years ago he used his powers of persuasion to borrow quite a bit of money from me. He said he wanted to start a cow herd and needed money to buy some cows and a few bulls. The idea sounded logical so I gave it to him. Taking an idea from my bank, since he obviously was a bad risk, I charged him a pretty high interest rate.

When his first interest payment was due he showed up with a check he’d gotten from selling his bulls. I was so happy to get my money I didn’t bother to ask him if they had performed their duties with the cow herd first.

When the second interest payment was due once again he was johnny on the spot with a check. This one, he explained, came from selling a few of the cows.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “The rest have gone up in value a ton.” These interest checks were fun. In fact, I quit even asking where he had gotten the money when a payment was due. It seemed I had a knack for this banking business. Then it happened.

One day he didn’t show up with his payment. I called his house and found out his wife hadn’t seen him for a couple of months. When I asked about my cow collateral she replied it had been even longer since she had seen them. I began feeling sorry for myself. Until, that is, I met the fellow at the sale barn. He said you had a program where hard working, good businessmen bankers such as myself who had been unfairly trapped in a down economy, were being helped. He called it a bale-out. Please don’t send any bales out here. Don’t need any more hay because my cows are all gone. I sure could use the cash that sorry low life George took from me. Could you hurry by the way. The wife and I have a cruise scheduled. Paid for it with my interest checks, you know.

Thanks, Gary.