The Haxtun-Fleming Herald - What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope

OK, you opened your front door this morning to pick up the latest edition of your local newspaper and were greeted with a face full of those awful, dirty Miller Moths who became residents of your home before the door could be slammed shut.

“Where in the world do all these things come from,” you probably asked no one in particular as you searched for the fly swatter. “Why doesn’t someone spray for them?” might be another futile question. Well, here is the answer to both those questions.

Miller Moths are the original snow birds. You know, the folks who migrate from cold northern climates to sunnier skies south of here. Only Miller Moths migrate east to west and unlike the RV towing snow birds, there is a sad ending. They all die at the end of their trip.

Miller Moths are the adult stage of the army cutworm. They begin their lives mainly in the wheat fields of Kansas, Oklahoma and Nebraska with some starting out in Eastern Colorado as well. They begin their life eating roots of green growing plants. Not content, however to live that way forever, the lowly Miller Moth has much higher expectations for itself. Somewhere in their early existence they lay eggs to insure you will be annoyed when you open your front door year after year.

Once that chore is accomplished they pack up their tiny suitcases and begin their migration to none other than the Colorado high country. That’s right. That little dusty, dirty fast flying nuisance is headed for the likes of Steamboat Springs, maybe Aspen for all I know. They better choose wisely because this will truly be the end of the line for them.

The reason spraying around your house won’t work is because each morning an entirely new batch of travelers will be waiting for your door to open, to be followed depending on climate conditions, by day after day into week after week of new arrivals. Talk about an immigration problem.

Now, about those who find a way into your house. A killing swat from your trusty fly swatter just leaves an ugly gray spot on your wall. The most effective way to eliminate the intruders may only be known by those of us old enough to have lived before central air condition. Open windows and torn screens were an invitation into our homes. Here’s our secret. Turn all the lights off in your house but one, preferably a bright ceiling bulb. Put a quarter inch of very soapy water in a cake pan and hold it under the light. Within a minute or so, every Miller Moth will dive to their death in the soapy brine.

There you have it. Everything and more you ever wanted to know about Miller Moths. Next week, how to get rid of sales calls. Just kidding. I am only an expert on Miller Moths.