My first (knowing) foray into the world of AI (Artificial Intelligence) occurred not within a devoted app but in an online auction environment. It centered around listing an item for sale and describing said item in terms adequate to entice a buyer. Simple enough. As an infrequent seller, I had enough basic understanding to slog my way through the posting, complete with pictures and a short, to-the-point description which went something like this; “Lady Esquire Suede Compact cleaning brush. Small suede cleaning brush in an estate items box of really fun stuff. Item’s age is uncertain, but present owner recalls playing with it in the early 1960s. Somewhat stiff metal bristles (likely brass) extend and retract easily.”

The pictures, three in all, visually confirmed the item and left me certain it would at least break even on the shipping. That is when I noticed a check box choice that would allow AI software to save me time and effort by writing the description on my behalf. It was intriguing, so much so that curiosity and cat came together. Pure writing disaster. Some detail, especially the age of the item, might have improved the finished product, but it honestly would not have mattered. A stinker by consensus is just that.

The new (presumed improved) version read: “This is a must-have for all fashion enthusiasts. The LADY ESQUIRE Suede Compact comes with a retractable cleaning brush specially designed for suede materials. It’s perfect for keeping your suede accessories and clothing looking fresh and new. Made in an unknown country, this compact is a collectible piece that belongs in every vanity. Use it to clean your suede handbooks, shoes, and jackets. Don’t let dirt ruin your favorite suede pieces, keep them looking flawless with the LADY ESQUIRE Suede Compact.”

Common sense suggested that enough was enough. This exploration was fast whittling away the evening hours, so I of course gave it a second shot. How about an example regarding rocks (as in dumber than a box of…)? My descriptive lead … “Five pieces of polished petrified wood, averaging three ounces per piece, from Yellowstone River basin in Montana.” I could tell right off that I used far too few words and utterly failed to grasp the AI version that I should have embraced. To wit, “This polished petrified wood originates from the Yellowstone River basin in Montana. The unique patterns and colors of the wood make it a beautiful and fascinating addition to anyone's collection. It is a great piece for display or as a conversation starter. With its natural beauty and rich history, this petrified wood piece will surely catch the eye of any collector or nature enthusiast.” I found myself in closer agreement with the rocks than with a suede fashion accessory, but it was alarming that so many superlatives could be heaped on a tangible object by an intangible intelligence. In spite of that, I nearly bought my own rocks.

After that, I couldn’t resist, so I offered up for sale a “New International Version and The Message parallel Bible.” A motherly AI gathered me in. “This amazing parallel Bible features the popular New International Version and The Message translations side by side for easy comparison and study. Perfect for anyone interested in Christianity, this book is a great addition to your collection of books and magazines. With its beautiful cover and high-quality pages, it is sure to impress anyone who sees it. Whether you are a new believer or a seasoned Christian, this parallel Bible is a must-have for your personal library.”

A reasonably provocative and accurate description “that is sure to impress.” Isn’t that what religion is about these days?