To believe advertisers that one simply cannot manage Christmas without embracing the hottest fashion trends, material goods, hardware and the software to make it all work, is ludicrous. From a child’s perspective, anything is possible. If parents give in and ante up by purchasing gifts of a lifetime, what happens when the next season of giving falls short in the eyes of a child? Gifts begin to become confused with nurturing, loving, and caring for and through others.

Giving anonymously has its own reward of helping others without necessarily drawing attention to oneself. To make a beneficent showing for the sake of pats on the back honors neither the gift nor the giver. Grocery gift cards often fit the bill and are especially welcomed for those on tight budgets, especially those with young kids. Such gift cards also reserve unhealthy judgments to a different place and time.

Learn to say ‘Thank You’ and mean it. Too many of us are self-effacing when it comes to saying thank you, as if hearing it once is never quite enough. Rest assured; it is. A phrase offered out of habit is just that and nothing more.

Learn to say ‘You’re Welcome’ and mean it. “You shouldn’t have!” is a common response calling into question the motivation of the gift and its giver. Short of creating hardship on the part of the giver, graciously receive the gifts you have been given. At worst, you’ve got a whole ‘nother year until something can be re-gifted under the tree. And don’t forget the other re-gifting possibilities of birthdays, anniversaries, holidays or simply because you like someone.

Welcome alternative giving as an opportunity to impart life lessons on our children. Not all gifts need to be critiqued and ranked according to their intrinsic value, but thoughtful questions addressed to our children as they begin deciding how to give and what to spend their money on, will remain with them over time. Become role models for your children and family in that regard.

Give gifts that build lives, such as donations to relief organizations that provide badly needed life skills training and education. Human empowerment programs are great discussion sources for young people. Many organizations offer shares of livestock purchases like honey bees, chickens, rabbits, and goats, among others. Denominational church programs promoting agriculture, clean water and adaptable farming techniques are available, as are opportunities to purchase basic farming hand tools and equipment.

Dispelling loneliness is a gift worth giving by visiting shut-ins, writing notes, taking time to call or inquire how people are doing, all without strings attached. If your motive for doing so is impure (money, recognition, guilt) consider choosing another path to take. There are plenty of opportunities to dispel loneliness in people’s lives. It begins with awareness on our part.

It’s okay to give shares of gifts in someone’s name. It’s done all the time. If I can’t afford to send a water buffalo to a deserving family in southeast Asia, then a manageable share of 10 or 12 dollars will never be turned away. It will always be welcome.

Get to know the organizations you are comfortable giving to. What do they provide? What is their administrative overhead? Are they clear about their aims and goals? Are they religious or secular? There may be good reasons to give to both.

Give freely without strings. The best gifts have the fewest strings. Give wisely, give freely. Others might depend on us far more than we imagine. And for heaven’s sake, stop declaring that we are taking Christ out of Christmas. I see Christ every day in the goodness of people as Advent gets underway.